Hooray
for Summer!
School’s out, the weather is warm, and your kids are ready to play. One
of the most exciting things about summer is the freedom and luxury to focus
on doing fun things all day long, or to do absolutely nothing.
But, as most parents of school-age children know, after only a few weeks of
summer vacation, the thrill of “doing nothing” has worn off, and
kids are starting to get bored. Chances are that simply telling them to “find
something to do” isn’t working anymore, and they are becoming more
demanding of your time and attention.
Think of this as a good thing rather than an annoyance! Instead of getting
worried about how to structure their time and keep them occupied until the
beginning of September (maybe signing them up for summer camp doesn’t
seem like such a bad idea anymore?), think of this as an opportunity for both
you and your children to have fun, play, and laugh together. After all, if
you can’t find the time to play with them during the summer, when will
you ever find the time during the rest of the busy year?
“You
can discover more about a person in an hour of play
than in a year of conversation.” ~ Plato |
As
an adult, you may have forgotten how to really play with your
child. Our days are filled with stress, work,
and other responsibilities, and we often don’t have much
room in our lives for fun and games. We may be tired and easily
bored when we try to play with our children. Some parents may
even wonder why they should get involved when their children
play well on their own (which gives parents a much-needed break – why
interfere with that?)
The best reason to get involved is that play is children's main
way of communicating - they show us their feelings and experiences
through play much more often than through talking. We need to
hear what they have to say, and playing with them is the best
way to listen. In fact, there are a number of good reasons to
spend more time playing with your kids:
Fortunately, any parent can learn to be more playful,
and to connect with children in a fun way. Dr. Larry Cohen, a
psychologist specializing in children's play, suggests the following
simple ways to put fun and play back into your family:
1. Join Children in Their World - this
means getting down on the floor, literally, where children usually
play (or, for older
children, joining them at the mall, video arcade, computer, or
try listening to their music). Children need us to occasionally
play the games they like to play, the way they want to play them.
It let's them know that we are truly interested in them and their
world. Once we let go of goal-oriented, purposeful activity,
we enter the world of play. Think of your participation in your
child’s play not as a way to teach or model anything, but
rather as a way of sharing their excitement and pleasure.
Suggestion to try this summer: Once
a day, for 10-15 minutes, try to simply join your child's play,
without asking questions,
making suggestions, taking over, or trying to teach your child
anything. Try to just observe what your child is doing, and make
positive comments about what you see. Comments such as, “Wow,
that’s a really big fort you built” or “Looks
like you are getting better and better at this video game” will
let your child know that you are paying attention to them, and
they get a chance to be the “expert” and show you
what they are doing.
2.
Giggling - Laughing together is one of the best
ways to create playfulness in your family. Children love it when
adults are goofy and silly. Talk in a funny voice, make funny
faces, tell jokes. Whatever makes your child giggle, do it again
and again. Shared laughter strengthens the bonds of family and
friendship. Laughter also eases tension, conflict, and hostility,
and helps create an environment that feels safe. Thus, laughter
is much more than just entertainment for kids; it can be a great
stress relief for parents!
Suggestion to try this summer: Spend some time sitting around
with your children reading joke books to each other, look at
the comics together, or tell funny stories with a goofy voice.
As long as you stay away from put-down humor, laugh at anything
silly and just have a good time.
3. Active Physical Play - this is not just for boys and dads!
Girls and moms also need, and often greatly enjoy, active physical
play, such as chasing each other, playful wrestling and roughhousing,
climbing, dancing, etc. Remember to keep it fun, not competitive,
and let your child win often.
Suggestion to try this summer: Rather than just watching your
child on the playground, at the beach, or in the pool, decide
to join them in their activity. You might even get some much-needed
physical exercise yourself! On a personal note, the reason I
started a regular running program years ago was so that I could
have enough endurance to chase my children around without getting
out of breath. Sometimes it’s hard to tell who is having
more fun when we are running through the park, me or them. And
that’s the whole point!
Resources: (click on the book titles to
view the book at Amazon.com)
• Playful
Parenting by Lawrence Cohen (2001). Paperback, 307 pages.
• Humor,
Play, and Laughter: Stress-Proofing Your Life With Your Kids by Joseph Michelli (1998). Paperback, 193 pages.
Back to Top
