Gratitude
comes with emotional maturity. Children are born self-centered
and with time, as their needs are met, they learn the give and
take of the world around them. It’s important as parents
that we show our children what being grateful looks like.
1. Utilize dinnertime, bedtime, downtime, or teaching moments
as a time for you and your children to talk about what makes
each of you grateful. Children, especially elementary school
age, enjoy hearing your stories and place value on your opinions
and insights regarding the world around them.
2. Decrease
whining and negative behaviors in your child before they start.
Make sure your child’s emotional and physical
needs are met. Make sure that you appreciate what they do and
make sure they know they are appreciated. If children feel they
can contribute to the family, they will be more open to acknowledging
the contributions of others.
3. Teach your child by role-playing. Show the difference between
acceptable ways of responding to disappointment and less effective
ways like whining and having a tantrum.
4. Another tool to encourage responsibility and to teach appreciation
is to have your child earn what they want by doing chores and
working for the object before they get it. It instills pride
and ownership when after several months of working for that prized
object, your son or daughter takes their own money into the store,
counts out the money to purchase what they wanted. It can also
happen that with delayed gratification, your child may choose
not to buy the object they first thought they wanted.
5. If you give your child allowance, have them divide it into
three groups, spending money, savings and charity. If you instill
this value early on, you will be less likely to create a child
who will have overspending problems later on in life.
6. Have your
child earn privileges. Whether it’s watching
a TV show, having a friend over or staying up an extra half-hour,
it helps to make some opportunities conditional. Be clear with
your expectations and follow through. It’s also important
to know that just because you CAN give your child everything
doesn’t mean that it will help them if they have everything
they want. You are setting your child up for some unrealistic
expectations in their future.
7. Model
thankfulness. Use “Thank you” often, speak
kindly of others, and stand up for those who do not have a voice.
This lesson goes a long way and instills a value that will last
for years.
8. Write “thank-you” notes. Also, if your child
receives a gift, have them write a note, draw a picture or sign
their name to a note you’ve written.
9. As a family, offer to help at a local food pantry, bring
dinner to a neighbor in need, visit a local nursing home and
encourage your children to give their gently used toys and jackets
to charity.
10. Have your children make a list of things they would like
to give to others. Even if they are unattainable, have your child
share their list of wishes with that person.
11. Teach
appreciation of nature. As the saying goes “stop
and smell the roses.”
12. Focus on time and attention. It is not what we have that
makes us who we are. The time we spend and the attention we give
is our most important gift. Therefore, make sure that game night
happens, that your children can help with setting the dinner
table, doing the yard work or anything else that helps them feel
they can contribute. The conversations you will have during these
moments may be some of your most important ones.
Some people are more gracious in sharing their gratitude. Some
people never mature enough. We all have known people who have
had difficult lives, yet they see the beauty of life and share
their appreciation often. Remember them when it is difficult
for you to be thankful. Be patient with your children. As they
mature, they will learn the importance of giving thanks as you
encourage them to have thankful hearts.
Happy Thanksgiving!
