Focusing
on Strengths.
Finding Solutions.
September 2003 Newsletter:
Back
To School:
15 Tips for Getting Off to a Great Start
Morning Madness, Homework Hassles,
and Bedtime
Battles
by Karin Suesser, PhD
The transition from the more relaxed summer months to the structure of a tight school schedule presents difficulties not only for school children, but for parents as well. Getting the kids out of bed in the morning and ready for school on time can be a challenge, as can setting up a homework routine, and finally getting your child to go to bed on time so you can start all over again the next morning. This fall, start the school year off on the right track by using these proven strategies:
Morning Madness
Don’t wake them up too early. When children
learn that there is extra time in the morning, they actually become less
efficient and take longer to get ready. With only an hour to get up and
going, they know there is no time to waste, and they are less likely
to dawdle.
Get ready the night before. Cut down on morning
chores by doing most of them the previous night, such as picking out
clothes, making lunches, gathering school supplies, setting out breakfast
foods, even showering. Remember that everything tends to take twice
as long in the morning as it does at night.
Pinpoint the problems. What’s keeping
your family from getting ready in the morning in the most efficient
manner? Keep track of the most common problems (e.g., bathroom traffic,
no clean clothes, lost school supplies, remembering things at the last
minute, etc.). Then brainstorm together as a family about possible
solutions. When children come up with their own ideas, they are usually
more committed to them.
Increase your child’s motivation. Your
child may have no internal motivation to get up and ready for school.
Don’t blame them for being lazy which only makes them less cooperative – instead,
make sure you provide some external motivators for cooperation, by
offering rewards (stickers, treats, etc.). This provides a win-win
situation for everyone and cuts down on nagging and arguments.
Use frequent reminders and lists. Help your
child stay on track in the mornings by giving frequent reminders in
a neutral tone of voice for what needs to be done next. For older children,
post lists in a central location that can be checked frequently.
Homework Hassles
Communicate with Teachers. Do
this early and often to catch any problems that need to be corrected.
Don’t wait
until parent-teacher conferences to find out how your child is doing.
After-School Fun. There needs to be a break
immediately after school for children to have a snack, and to do some
physical and social activities. However, watching TV is counterproductive
because it puts children in a passive state, and they don’t want
to stop watching to start their homework. Physical exercise is both
relaxing and energizing, and a more appropriate activity after a day
of sitting in school. Make the TV off limits until homework is done.
Consistent time and place. Consistency and
structure are key for making homework time hassle-free. Find a time
that fits both your child’s and your own schedule. Having a designated
study (with all necessary materials readily available) is equally important.
Make learning fun and creative. Set a positive
tone by showing enthusiasm for and interest in what your child is learning.
Look for informal learning opportunities to review material, e.g..,
solve math problems or practice spelling words while driving in the
car. Encourage your child to make up stories or rhymes, or to draw
pictures to remember what they learned.
After-Homework Fun. Increase your children’s
motivation to complete homework by giving them something to look forward
to afterwards. Favorite TV shows, videogames, talking on the phone,
or having a special snack are all great rewards after homework is completed,
and may provide the extra incentive your child needs to get through
a boring and tedious task. If homework is scheduled too late in the
evening, with only bedtime to follow and no time to play, children
won’t be motivated to be efficient, and also won’t want
to go to bed since they haven’t had any fun yet.
Bedtime Battles
Consistent time and routine. Set a consistent
bedtime for your child, keeping in mind that most children need approximately
10 hours of sleep each night. The last hour before bed should be wind-down
time, including quieter activities, nightly hygiene, preparing school
materials, lunches, and clothes for the next day, and special parent-child
time. Whenever possible, this last hour should be TV, videogame and homework
free since those activities often interfere with the relaxation necessary
to fall asleep.
Share special time with your child. Every
child, no matter how old, enjoys special one-on-one time with a parent
before going to sleep. Just ten or fifteen minutes can be enough for
quiet conversation, reading together, or looking at photo albums.
Avoid arguments. Children may try to negotiate
for a later bedtime (“just 5 more minutes, pleeeaaase!”).
If you give in once (maybe because you are too tired to argue), they
will try this strategy again and again. Be consistent, and don’t
get involved in arguments. Instead, state your expectations calmly,
and let your child know what the consequences will be if he or she
doesn’t cooperate at bedtime. Think about realistic consequences
ahead of time so you won’t have to make them up on the spot.
Reward your child for cooperation. Give your child an extra incentive
to go to bed on time by using a sticker chart or point system. Each night s/he
goes to bed on time, put a sticker on a special “Night-Time Chart” and
reward them once they have collected a certain number of stickers (reward them
initially for only 3 stickers; once they get better, you can require 4 or more
stickers before giving a reward).
End each day on a positive note. Don’t
wait until bedtime to discuss problems with your child. Falling asleep
will be difficult for any child who is worried or upset. Instead, use
the time just before bed for pleasant conversation that makes your
child feel good about themselves and their place in your family. Even
after a hectic or problematic day, don’t let your child go to
sleep without reaffirming your love for one another.