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Managing Financial Stress
By Anne Brunette, MSW We all are affected in some way. Whether it’s a neighbor, family member, friend or even us, we are touched by the down economy. For many, this is the first and most stressful experience of fear and financial worry on a large scale. We may not be old enough to have lived through financial recessions as deep as this one. The reality is that things have been difficult for many people throughout history, we just tend to think that OUR reality is the worst it’s been, because WE are personally facing challenges we’ve not faced before.
Part of our struggle now is that we are not sure what the future holds. Keeping things in perspective is essential to get through difficulties without allowing fear and stress to take over. I’m not minimizing the challenges that so many are facing but am stressing the importance of perspective as we get through these difficulties.
Lack of control over our circumstances is the underlying cause of stress for many people. How we handle our stress and fear is one of the things we CAN control. Making decisions out of emotion is rarely, if ever, a good thing. Here are some ideas to help you get through these times without allowing the stress to overwhelm you.
Do your best to control what you can and let go of the rest. The reality is that each of us make decisions that have consequences, both negative and positive. How you decide to spend your money, where you decide to live, day to day decisions about the work you do and how you raise your children are all up to you. Waiting for someone else to make things better for you is a waste of time and energy. Decide to take charge of what you can, take a deep breath, and let go of the rest.
Slow down and try to put things in perspective. Consistently focusing on the negative increases stress. If we look around, most of us can see good things, whether it is our home, family, friends, jobs, skills, and opportunities. We can also see and feel pain, fear and worry. How often does looking at the latter help our attitude or our outcome? Try this exercise: Before getting out of bed in the morning, list for yourself or with your family, five things you appreciate. This gets your day started on a positive note. End the day saying, “Thank you” for the good things and people in your life.
Healthy relationships provide a buffer for difficult times. Finance is an issue that most couples argue about at some time in their relationship. Financial stress can create increased stress in relationships. How couples and families deal with those differences is key to their happiness, no matter how much money they have. Working on finances as a team can help insulate couples from some of those stresses. The good news is that there are low-cost opportunities in many communities to help you communicate with your spouse or partner regarding finances and many other difficult issues. Thinkmarriage.org and smartmarriages.com are two great resources. Our website, www.dollandassociates.com, provides many excellent articles and links for couples. Focusing on your relationships will ease the financial worries and help your family survive financial struggles, no matter what is going on in the economy. Keep in mind that divorce is expensive and married people, on average, make more money than singles. The emotional cost of unhappiness and stressful relationships is high!
Take a “time out” from the news. With the availability of 24 hours a day, 7 days a week news, there is never a shortage of opinions, statistics, or predictions. Sometimes it can be overwhelming and depressing. If you cannot control it, spending too much time or emotional and mental energy on the news is a waste. It is also detrimental if it causes you to spend time that you would have spent doing positive things to improve your life.
Find ways to have fun, even if you have less money to spend. Be creative in how you have fun. A game and movie night at home with the family can be a great, inexpensive way to improve relationships and reduce tension. Have each family member write an inexpensive idea on a sheet of paper and put it into a box. Then choose one each week to do as a family. Laughter also helps reduce stress, so don’t forget to laugh!
Focus on others. Sometimes our initial, emotional response to stress is to turn inward and try to fix OUR problems, try to reduce OUR stress, and feel bad about OUR lives. This self-centered approach is a recipe for depression, loneliness, and self-pity. The more we share with others and see that we can do something to ease someone else’s pain, the more we are able to appreciate what we have and the better we feel.
Take care of yourself. They are all things we should be doing even when we’re not stressed, but they are sometimes difficult to do. Stress makes it even more important—and makes more of a difference:
• Get enough sleep
• Exercise regularly
• Eat healthy
• Do something you enjoy daily
Learn ways to relax and slow down. You will be in a much better position to make good decisions when you are calm and relaxed. Making decisions based on emotions rarely ends with positive results. Taking a deep breath is the first thing to do in many situations to help our body slow down so our mind can also slow down. Meditation, prayer and relaxation are effective ways to reduce stress. Often, these relaxation techniques work very quickly to help. Call our office or stop by for a CD that is directly related to reducing stress during difficult economic times.
Remember that you DO have control over what you choose to focus on, what you think about, and how you respond to stress. Choose wisely!
Quote of the Month
“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life...I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.”
-Charles R. Swindoll
Recommended Resources
The Total Money Makeover and How to Have More Than Enough By Dave Ramsey
You Paid How Much For That!: How to Win at Money Without Losing at Love By Natalie H. Jenkens, Scott M. Stanley, William C. Bailey, Howard J. Markman
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