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December 2003 Newsletter:
'Tis
the Season to be Stressed?
Coping with Holiday Stress
and Blues
by
Karin Suesser, PhD, Psychologist
The
winter holidays are a time for celebration and joy. However, not all
aspects
of the holiday season are positive. Many people feel stressed and unhappy
in response to the demands of shopping for gifts, spending large amounts
of money, attending parties and family gatherings, and entertaining
houseguests. Unrealistic expectations for the holiday season, or bad
memories of previous holidays, can also contribute to negative feelings.
Holiday stress and blues are a common result. While the holiday blues
are usually temporary, the following ideas can help make this year’s
holiday experience more pleasant and less stressful.
Top Coping Strategies for the Holiday Season
1. Keep it simple and fun (perfectionism
creates stress!)
2. Set priorities (decide what you really
want and only do those things)
3. Plan ahead (avoid last minute shopping
and preparations)
4. Stay in budget (great gifts don't have
to be expensive)
5. Have realistic expectations (about happiness,
family, and the "perfect" holiday)
6. Take care of yourself (breathe, exercise,
laugh, avoid overindulgence, seek social support, think about what
the holidays are all about for you and try to live up to that spirit)
Be
realistic. The forced cheerfulness of the holiday season cannot
ward off sadness or loneliness. Accept how you are feeling and remind
yourself that most people experience some negative feelings during this
time of year - that's normal! Let others know how you are feeling, and
what you need. Disappointment over unmet expectations (for others, and
for the season in general) only makes sadness worse.
Drink less alcohol. Even though drinking alcohol can give you a temporary
feeling of well-being, it acts as a depressant and can make you more tired
and irritated.
Set a spending limit and stick to it. Finances are
often a major source of stress during the holidays. Some people fear
disappointing others, so even though they can’t afford to spend
a lot of money on gifts, they may feel obligated to come through
with a fancy gift that costs more than they can afford. Remember
that giving someone a nice present won’t really strengthen
a friendship or romantic relationship. Look for ways to show people
that you care without spending a lot. Consider giving non-material
gifts, such as inviting friends for a special dinner, or offering
to babysit.
Look for holiday activities that are free, such as driving around
to look at holiday decorations, going caroling with other families, going window-shopping
without purchasing anything, and visiting the local library to spend an afternoon
reading holiday books to your children.
Give yourself special care. Schedule times to relax and pamper yourself.
Take a warm bath or spend an evening with a good book. Give yourself time for
rest and renewal each day.
Set limits and priorities. Be realistic about what you will be able
to accomplish. Prepare a To-Do list early in December to help you arrange your
priorities. Decide to make simplicity and fun your priorities, not perfection.
Think about what the holidays are all about for you, and stay true to that
spirit.
Volunteer your time. Offer to work at a hospital
or homeless shelter. Volunteering can raise your spirits by helping
others who need and appreciate your kindness.
Get some exercise. Exercise has a positive impact on depression and
stress because it boosts serotonin levels. Try to get some type of exercise
at least twice a week. You can fit in short walking breaks just about anywhere,
e.g., you can take a 10-minute walk around the mall before starting your shopping.
Ease family tension. Keep in mind that holidays
don't help family members get along any better than during the rest
of the year! If you find family gatherings stressful, keep visits
short, entertain less at your own house, and put off settling arguments
until some other time. Also, consider letting go of some old family
traditions if they no longer work for you.
For some people, holiday blues continues into the new year. This is often caused
by leftover feelings of disappointment during the holiday season and being
physically exhausted. However, when feelings of sadness are accompanied by
changes in appetite and sleep patterns, having less interest in daily activities,
difficulty concentrating, and a general feeling of hopelessness, these may
be symptoms of clinical depression. If you are concerned that you or a loved
one may be suffering from more than just the holiday blues, it is important
to seek the help of your health care provider, or a qualified mental health
professional.
The Benefits of Kindness
Traditionally, the holiday season is a time for giving and sharing. Many people
report that they are more likely during this time of year to reach out to someone
in need, and to give their time and money to help others.
People who practice kindness toward others generally agree that it
makes them “feel
good.” But there is more to kindness than just feeling like a nice person.
A number of scientific studies have found that acts of kindness result in significant
health benefits, both physical and mental, for those who perform them.
For example, stress-related health problems improve after performing kind acts.
Helping others can reverse feelings of depression, and decrease feelings of
hostility and isolation that cause stress, overeating, ulcers, etc. Helping
can enhance our feelings of joyfulness, emotional resilience, and vigor, and
can reduce the sense of isolation.