Don't Worry, Be HappyFinding Happiness
By Greg Henderson, MSSW
When asked the question, “What is the one thing you want from your life?”, most people will respond by saying “happiness”. It is one of life’s most important goals.
There are currently many obstacles that detract from attaining sustainable happiness. A few of these include record unemployment, a major economic recession, catastrophic losses on investment income, war in the Middle East, health care crisis, and a multitude of other stressors. While many of these realities are out of one’s control, the goal of this newsletter is to provide a better understanding of how to attain happiness regularly.
What is Happiness?
Happiness is nothing more than an emotion. Psychology defines it as a longer-term sense of emotional well-being and contentment – a general “feeling” that one is happy. Apart from temporary moods of happiness that we all experience from time to time, “happiness” as defined in research is an overall feeling of satisfaction with life over long periods of time.
To know what “happiness is”, it is important to know what “happiness is not”. There are things such as “wealth”, “family life”, “career”, “being in love”, that contribute to your overall happiness, but “happiness” is only an emotion and should not be confused with the “things” that can be related to the emotion.
Happiness can be simply understood as that good emotional feeling that comes when things are going well.
How to Become Happier
Control Desires
Unfulfilled desires can be very limiting to our happiness. When you focus on what you don’t have, you may feel a sense of loss, limitation or deprivation. Focusing on attaining more things such as more money, a better job or a better mate suggests that what we have is never good enough. Believing that simply having more or better will bring happiness is a fallacy.
Choose Your Thoughts Wisely
Think pleasant thoughts. Your emotional state is dependent on your thoughts. When you choose to project negative, worst-case scenarios, it will trigger emotions such as sadness, anger, frustration, or hopelessness. Focus on the positive, finding good in daily life. It will directly impact your level of happiness.
Practice Happiness
Becoming happier takes practice, just like learning any other skill such as gardening, dieting or cooking. Schedule and maintain a practice happiness session. During this designated time frame, have a positive attitude, be proactive in making positive remarks, be solution oriented and express gratitude and appreciation to those you encounter. Having happy thoughts is a choice that takes practice to become familiar.
Believe in Happiness
Changing life-long beliefs will take time and practice. In order to become happier, you may need to reprogram your thinking. Beliefs can change simply by being exposed to new beliefs. For example, every day repeat to yourself “I am very happy”. By repeating this simple statement periodically throughout the day, over weeks and months, you can program your thinking to a higher level of happiness.
Limit Comparisons
When most people compare themselves to others, it is usually in a negative light. You can always find someone who is richer, better looking, has more possessions or fewer problems. This framework is guaranteed to lower your level of happiness. If you choose to compare, focus on your gratitude and appreciation in who you are versus who you are not.
Be optimistic
Follow the cliché Jamaican motto of “don’t worry, be happy”. Research has found that worry is the number one enemy of happiness. Worry does not better prepare us to deal with difficult situations. Instead, hope for the best, plan for success and see the good in all things.
Happiness Can Be Success
In life, you will err in judgement, make mistakes and experience conflicts and loss. This is what we refer to as the human condition that we all experience. Be determined to succeed at being happy and bringing happiness to those around you.
Invest in Relationships
People are our most relied upon source of happiness. Invest your time and energy in developing, improving and maintaining healthy, positive relationships with spouses, children, extended family, friends and coworkers. Your investment in meaningful relationships will pay big dividends of happiness.
Smile Often
Realize that becoming happier is as easy as just smiling more. Take note that the happiest people you will meet always have a pleasant expression. Maintain a smile throughout your day – it communicates happiness as well as reminds you to be happy. Recent studies are revealing that as we become happier, we become better people. As we become happier, we become more compassionate, more creative, more energetic, more financially successful, more emotionally and physically fit. As parents, teachers and mentors, we know we need to teach children to be good for their sake and the sake of others. At the same time, do not neglect to teach children how to be happy – it is their greatest need and desire.
Recommended Readings
Human Happiness; Its Nature and Its Attainment by Dr. Michael W. Fordyce’s
Gateway to Happiness by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin
www.gethappy.net/freebook.html-freeonlinebook
www.thehappinessshow.com - Hosted by George Ortega, Lionel Ketchian, Aymee Coget, & Claudia Bassin
Quote of the Month
Happiness is not a destination. It is a method of life.
~ Burton Hills
Summer Groups
Doll & Associates will once again be facilitating social skills groups for children and teens. Groups are starting in June, so call 907-8207 for more information or to sign up.
See our events page for more details. |
